145A — What you mean to me...

It is a strange, uncomfortable feeling to not finish what you had planned, but unfortunately that feeling is one that I have experienced far too often throughout the past few months. I suppose that I am probably spread overly thin, but hopefully some of it will coalesce in the near future. With that, I guess it is appropriate to note that only the non-supplementary parts of my Harvard and Columbia applications were submitted today (although this is not necessarily completely my fault), but I accomplished very little separate from that as well. In fact, I believe the only truly productive thing I did today was outlining my AP Psych assignment and write more bits and pieces of my Year in Review, so all-in-all not my best work. At all.

Despite my slightly earlier blogging time yesterday, I couldn't fall asleep early last night (or perhaps, I was not dedicated enough to the task of falling asleep), and so proceeded to have a two-hour-long conversation with one of my friends from RSI, dedicated primarily to the purpose of restoring some part of my soul that has been drained and poured out onto paper and into Google Docs in the process of intensive essay writing and editing. Thankfully, the conversation was actually surprisingly uplifting—discussion of Netflix, math problems, musicals (Wicked and La La Land, in particular), Lunar New Year and associated traditions, dancing, ice skating, scibowl, RSI, food, etc. centered me back in myself. As the natural optimism in me becomes vanishingly small, it's really great to have friends who can sort of inject it back into me. I am, however, pining for some form of competition or intensive work in groups, because this lone essay-writing and homework and whatnot is draining me. Robotics build season and regional science bowl can't come soon enough.

In response to the late sleep time, I also got up late today, and spent the most of the day waiting around and whatnot, while doing some of the work I mentioned all of the way up at the first paragraph. Some of the downtime was spent listening to podcasts and some on Youtube videos and whatnot, but I submitted the applications right before going to a party with family friends where a lot more Wii games were played, as well as some juryrugging a rubber-band gun to fire what Wikipedia cheerily refers to as "bang snaps", which was quite fun. It's been a good day, all-in-all, despite my depressing lack of productivity.

Tomorrow, the submission of the rest of my college apps (hopefully)! They've really gotten better with time, and I'm actually just excited to let the things that I've poured so much of my heart and soul into out into the eyes of others for their consideration. I hope they'll generate a positive response by the admissions officers, but we'll find out in March. I'll compile them in the meantime though, and I'll probably release them out into the public domain one way or another at some point (or should I sell them...? depends on if I get in to good places, but also that kind of exclusivity is what facilitates class divides, not that my essays will provide any sort of real advice per se.) In any case, financial aid is difficult like why...ugh. Finally, I have the all the titles for the blog posts planned up to New Year's Day, so that's also pretty exciting. Yay.

Next year, I want to do a 365-day writing prompt thing. The question is, will that clog up the blog? Maybe I'll compile them into monthly/weekly installments. That'll be interesting.