176A — If you lean on my back then we both can fly...

Today was a decent day. Getting up in the morning was hard (although I slept way before midnight as a result of being tired even while reading), but from there the day continued on as normal. We were slightly later than usual to school, but at the very least there was no Mathcounts this morning, so it was not quite as painful as it could have been. That was a good thing.

Morning time in the library was fine—today's theme was throwback to grade school, so I was wearing my glasses, which, combined with the normal sleep deprivation, was enough to make me more than a little dazed during this time. I printed off my AP Psych notes, and turned them in during AP Psych. AP Psych was relatively chill, as we went through the language section of the unit quickly, and from there we moved to Spanish 4, which, when combining the lack of students during a significant portion of the class period and the existence of a presentation on countries, resulted in a content-wise short class, which was probably good for the mental state I was in at that point.

This floating mood, however, did not last into Orchestra, which was composed of small group practice today. However, our best first violinist, who I had seen in the last class period, decided to skip class today to help with a task in Spanish which should've taken at most 15-20 minutes, which left me the task of leading the rehearsal with relatively uncooperative first violins. I am not a natural leader in Orchestra, so I was mildly pissed about that.

After some time in the library for 4th period where I watched the House of Representatives go about its daily business for a little bit while setting up documents for a variety of applications I have to complete soon, I ate lunch with the same group of people, where the aforementioned first violinist essentially acknowledged her skipping and made it seem like no big deal. We have two rehearsals until contest. Just murder me.

I had some other thoughts during this time period, primarily because I was in a bad mood, although later actions which are hypocritical to these complaints have since limited my ability to actively critique these attitudes. I just don't understand why people fail to realize that their ability to abandon their responsibilities constitutes some kind of privilege, and that abandonment often results in the casting of that responsibility to someone who must carry it. It feels like the quintessential immigrant story (not to too strongly group myself with much less privileged immigrant groups, whose struggles are much bigger), where someone with the ability and the skill is lazy and delegates that responsibility to someone who must work hard to stay, to portray that skill, and can only cave to pressure when it is placed upon them. The class of people who victimize themselves (which perhaps I too am doing too strongly), whose strongest form of rebellion is hair-dying and political discussion in a world where some people's very existence implies some form of nonconformity and rebellion, scarcely comprehend the world from another point of view. I am struck by the discussion of individualism vs. collectivism—perhaps they are too rooted in an individualist culture. On the other hand, it is possible that I'm just taking my anger over something else out here. Anything is possible.

I spent the rest of my day (before teacher aiding) reading Physical Geology, which I got through a little more of. I still have an estimated 40 hours of reading to go, so here goes. Teacher aiding went well enough, with me finishing five pieces again even with some significant mess-ups. I kind of want to have us play the Leroy Anderson's The Typewriter, but other interesting finds included a piece that was played in May 1972. That is quite a long time ago.

I worked the concessions stand (at today's basketball game) as a fundraiser for Science Bowl from 3:30 until right before six or so, after which I switched off with the next shift and headed to McDonald's with two other robotics participants. I now kind of regret this decision, primarily because we were wasting someone else's time who was already at the lab, which is the aforementioned hypocritical action undermining my entire point. I don't think there's a total equivalency, but that's probably self-serving bias. In any case, we eventually arrived at the lab and spent until about 9:30 messing with the drive-train and tweaking it to work best. I went home after that (obviously), marking a full day of over 14 hours outside of home (if my math is correct).

I ate dinner slowly while discussing some science stuff (including everything from geology to energy consumption) with my dad, and then I wrote today's poem ("Good Vibes\Free."—tentative title) before working on this blog. Thankfully, school starts two hours late tomorrow because of wind chill, which will be a good time, because it means I get to sleep in after reading late into the night.

Tomorrow, late start, Physical Geology, robotics, and other assorted items. It'll be a good time.