Un-numbered E — 2018 Year in Review
Last Year + Context
Last year’s version of this can be found here:
“This is mostly a document for me to look back on and read
in a couple of years or something, so I’ll have some memory of what I actually
did in my high school years, though this is probably focusing on detail that
will seem unimportant in a few years.”
Since most of the events that occurred this year were
covered by my blog, this will be a brief(-ish) summary, followed by a series
of other reflections I’ve done in the past.
An accompanying photo album can be found here:
[redacted, contact author]
A “Summary” of the Year’s Events
January
I started this (iteration of this) blog on January 1st,
2018. I rang in the New Year at an actual New Year’s party, finished the second
draft of my novella, got contacts, read Much
Ado About Nothing, started my first build season at robotics, applied to
RSI, was outed to my parents via my own blog, did a debate tournament in Sioux
Falls where I met my college friends and we went to a park, finished the
Project CODENAME report, applied to TASP (oops), got my restricted permit, read
Six Degrees of Separation by Guare, broke
a curve on an AP Lit final, finished Google Code-in, took the F=ma exam (oops),
got annoyed with Science Bowl team assignments, went to Yankton for a debate
tournament, got photos of the lunar eclipse, and found out I was a finalist in
Google Code-in to end off the month.
February
In February, I overkilled a presentation about North Korea,
got a I on my solo, registered for senior year classes, saw Rent live at the
Civic Center, picked a thesis topic, got a new Science Bowl coach, took the AMC
12 and barely qualified for the AIME (four years!), won the regional Science
Bowl competition without dropping a round, won 100 dollars for being the best
regional competitor at Science Bowl, performed “If the World Only Knew” and
some songs from Hamilton at the annual School of Mines Chinese New Year party,
finished my first robotics build season, coached at Chapter Mathcounts and won
Coach Countdown, went to the All-State Honors Orchestra performance, received
the Google Code-in hoodie I wear so often now, and ended the month stressing
about my RSI acceptance and applying to possibly more camps.
March
March started with an acceptance to RSI! It followed
immediately with me missing the USAPhO cutoff (oh well), and then making the
AIME cutoff, which was then followed by me failing the AIME and getting only 3
questions. I coached at State Mathcounts, where our team got 3rd and
my sister took 7th (oof), and then got murdered by Daylight Savings
Time. Then, I got to go to Chicago! We visited all of the tourist sites, from
Millennium Park, to near-front-row Chicago Symphony Orchestra, to the Field
Museum, to the Shedd Aquarium, to the Sanfilippo Estate. And then, I got to go
to Denver! We won a few rounds, lost a few rounds, got picked by the third
ranked alliance, and promptly lost in the quarterfinals, but went home happy.
The end of March was characterized by music, Love, Simon, and fundraising for the robotics team, via the medium
of spring break.
April
April started with me desperately trying to catch up on
English homework, procrastinating via the Common App, receiving RSI forms, us going
to Minneapolis on a History Bowl trip (including a stop at a big green giant
and the Mall of America; also, oops), me travelling back and forth to the same
hotel over the course of twelve hours, a Student Congress tournament in Sioux
Falls where I blocked for someone else and then prom-posed to them afterwards,
and getting drafted into a prom group. I also went through two days of state
testing, got a corsage and boutonniere for prom, had a snow day (in April!),
read “Sonny’s Blues” which really impacted me, wrote a thesis on “Masculinity
in [Some] 20th-Century American Poetry,” began getting up early to
finish assignments, went to Large Group Ensemble Contest, where our orchestra
got a superior, got introduced to more RSI stuff and people, went to prom (wheee!),
got a car, prepared my AP exam answer sheets, desperately tried to get AP CSP
set up, spent many, many hours doing the actual tasks for AP CSP (including at
Science Bowl), and went to DC for National Science Bowl, where I learned a lot,
got some fun socks, broke a potato gun, ate a lot of good food, met some RSI
people, watched Infinity War, had boba, did relatively poorly in competition,
and saw the space shuttle.
May
May started with AP review/stress and a lot of John Mulaney,
including me finally submitting my AP CSP Digital Portfolio, a stress-induced
room cleaning, a birthday party that doubled as an AP review session, and then
we actually hit testing season. I had the AP Chem test on my birthday (ugh),
started meme-ing around on the RSI 2018 group chat in the intervening day, had
the AP Lit exam (wherein Frankenstein was discussed), had the AP Gov exam and
an Orchestra concert, had the AP CSP exam in an empty room and played tennis
with APUSHers, did more AP Physics C prep, locked myself out of my computer,
took the AP Physics C exams (one of which was in an empty room), sent an email
to John Green, wrote a reflection on my school year, and then took my final AP
exam of 2018: AP Statistics. I then went to North Dakota, where we got milk tea
and a copy of Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens
Agenda (among other things), and then returned to do finals, including an
AP Chem presentation, a Spanish speaking final, a written Orchestra test, a
Personal Finance presentation, a movie in AP Gov, a presentation on my thesis
in AP Lit, and many lunches outside of school which were quite nice. May closed
with a trip to Denver, including clothes shopping for RSI, SAT subject test
studying, a visit to downtown, and then returned home to reflect on the school
year and reorganize my photos.
June
June started with the SAT subject tests, which felt like
they went poorly, RSI groupchat memes, which were absolutely hilarious, and
college spreadsheeting, which was slightly more difficult but let me create my
college list which is mostly consistent with what I have today. I submitted a
paper to Literary Imagination (oops), made a bunch of milk tea, went to a
Knowledge Bowl party, and then we went to California! We flew to Santa Barbara,
and visited many beaches, Solvang (a really aesthetic Danish town), two Spanish
missions, the Santa Barbara County Courthouse, Solvang again. We had relatives
arrive from China, and the rest of the tourism continued with them, including
good food, but also my cousin’s graduation from UCSB, and a visit to LA,
including Universal Studios (where we got chosen at Ollivander’s, I watched the
SFX show twice, and I also got my RSI counselor group which I declared to be
“AWESOME”), great Korean food, and an even better breakfast at an 85°C. There
was also a visit to the Getty Villa as we returned to Santa Barbara, a stay in
Carpinteria, and then a stormy flight into Denver before a delayed flight home.
I received an MIT email, watched a lot of Queer
Eye, watched a bunch of soccer, packed for RSI, and got a haircut, all in
the span of about 4 days. And now…
A Very Large RSI Block
excised in December of 2019 upon realization that this, too, gives away too much of RSI's secrets and events—message me if you would like to read this or something
August
And now we are back out of the realm of speculation, as my
blogs returned with a consistency they had never seen before. I struggled to
get over my sleeping habits, slowly trudging my way through summer homework and
some very basic college app stuff (and some reading!), although I did end up
dropping a bunch of scholarships. I read quite a bit, and then AP Bio and Calc
III began a week and a half before school formally did. Somewhere in there, we
took a trip to Black Elk Peak (the highest mountain in the state), which was
nice, I got my braces off, and there was also plenty of ceremonial stuff for
the start of senior year, such as ID pictures. I also sent a recommendation
request to CEE, got a new nightstand, watched a mini K-drama series, started
working on a district literary journal, and started school.
September
With September, college application season began, from
essays to recommendation letters. Beyond that, however, I also got to see Mission Impossible: Fallout, went to a
birthday party or two, watched the US Open, submitted an application to the Colorado
School of Mines, worked on All-State Orchestra music, slowly adapted to the new
school year, volunteered for photomapping, was mentioned in a Vlogbrothers
video, got third chair in an Orchestra audition, talked to a bunch of teachers
about RSI, wore a toga to school one day, won a Knowledge Bowl tournament, went
to a barbeque, witnessed a talk from a co-founder of Tesla, went to “post-high
planning,” won another Knowledge Bowl tournament, reached 1000 miles of driving,
had my first hot pot of the fall-winter season, and started reading HPMoR.
October
October was a transition between writing essays to editing
essays, pushing through the banality of school, reading HPMoR, and continued
missing of RSI. I also did a gelatin-based lab, briefly visited Denver,
submitted my National Merit application, filmed the first episode of our
Spanish telenovelita, auditioned for All-State, got an acceptance to Colorado
School of Mines, brute-forced All-State audition results, saw a talk from
Harvard, got my actual All-State chair, won another Knowledge Bowl tournament,
started tutoring, continued my work on the literary journal, went to a birthday
party, submitted my application to Georgia Tech and University of Minnesota,
got switched to 2nd violin, won yet another Knowledge Bowl
tournament, started Google Code-in, went to a movie night before All-State
Orchestra, went through hours of rehearsal over two days for Orchestra, got
accepted to the University of Minnesota, submitted my UChicago app, formally
began our new robotics season, submitted my MIT application, submitted a
scholarship application (oops), submitted my UIUC application, and the month
ended.
November
November was ending my Early Action applications with
Caltech, a ¡fiesta!, more photo-management, winning the Regional Knowledge Bowl
for the fourth and last time, a robotics party, starting my regular cycle
college applications, re-designing the robotics website, an MIT interview,
senior photos, driving on very slippery roads, attempting to watch a satellite at
3:30 AM in the cold with flip-flops, telenovelita filming, an important Spanish
presentation, organizing scibowl tryouts, a debate tournament in Mitchell where
I did relatively well in extemp but struggled with judging rounds, went through
Thanksgiving break (including work on the literary journal, picking senior
photos, room cleaning, essay writing, a Thanksgiving party, a birthday party,
starting azphotos.me, etc.), beginning Mathcounts, speaking to the school about
Knowledge Bowl, Science Bowl tryouts, not having to take a Calc final, me
starting this document, and the start of our first big winter storm.
December
December began with some good, quality snow, and many
anxieties about the timing and content of Early Action decisions, as well as
the transition of writing into editing for my regular applications. It also
included some creative firewall bypassing, the failure of my phone’s USB port,
writing and sending of Christmas cards (some of which still haven’t arrived…?),
getting the MIT decision date, an audition for Orchestra, some friends getting
into Stanford, some volunteering for robotics, an acceptance to Caltech (!),
continuing my stint as principal second violinist in Orchestra, this blog
reaching 10000 views, an acceptance to UIUC, intermixed with a debate
tournament where I nearly placed in extemp and took first in Senate (student
Congress), intermixed with a pretty devastating deferral from MIT. This was
followed two days later with a deferral from UChicago and an associated worry
over essay writing. Then there was an AP Bio exam which finally brought my
grade back up to A’s in both quarters, my last Christmas concert in high
school, a return to clarity over college applications, some blog data analysis,
the start of break, some reading, some parties, a lot of essay writing, a lot
of Netflix, some Wii games, Christmas!, Mamma
Mia, “early” submission of all of my applications, and following that
writing of homework, scholarship/financial aid applications, and then this
document, to bring out the year of 2018.
Actual Reflection
Before I begin this, I suspect that many of the answers to
these questions will involve, in some form another, RSI. Let’s find out how
many.
Some Questions (Same As Last Year)
YOUR 2018
1. What
one event, big or small, are you going to tell your grandchildren about?
I would take the cop-out answer and just say RSI in general,
but I think one of the key moments of my RSI experience would be Hell Week, and
working with people at 4 in the morning as the first step in my long journey to
finding myself in the support of others.
Another possibility, depending on how things go in the next
few months, and how college admissions changes in the intervening decades, is
something about how little a deferral from MIT matters in the long run. It’ll
take a long while before it seems as irrelevant as described above, however.
2. If
you had to describe your 2018 in 3 words, what would they be?
Diversity, learning, self-discovery.
3. What
new things did you discover about yourself?
I think I discovered who I really am in an un-constrained
environment, where my personality truly shines through. I also discovered that
no matter how much I talk about not caring about food, if you subject me to bad
food for a long period of time, I will become increasingly uncomfortable. There
are probably plenty of other things that I also discovered about myself, but
the fact that they’re discoveries about myself means that they’ve probably
already been incorporated into my identity without any memories of not being that way.
4. What
single achievement are you most proud of?
I’m proud of making it unscathed score-wise out of AP
testing and SAT subjects. I didn’t really think that was possible, just given
quantity of tests taken (a little bit of a reverse gambler’s fallacy, I guess),
but mission accomplished! At the very least, it proves that I have some concept
of the subjects I tested over (or maybe just that I’m good at test-taking.)
5. What
was the best news you received?
My acceptance to RSI, even though I didn’t quite know how
big of a deal it would be to me at that moment, which was pretty good news and
kept my emotions up for a little bit in a stressful time; or my acceptance to
Caltech, which at least held my emotions over until MIT’s deferral and gave me
a jumping off point for RD applications.
6. What
was your favorite place that you visited in 2018?
Outside of Boston/Cambridge (or more specifically the lounge
in Building 12, the tunnels, and the Prudential Center), I think I would have
to go with California. We did visit quite a few places in Southern California,
of course, but they all had their own unique advantages and aesthetics and
all-in-all that trip was really quite fun.
7. Which
of your personal qualities turned out to be the most helpful this year?
I think my work ethic, although it was far from perfect,
turned out to be quite helpful this year, especially during times of immense
stress. I still think that in many ways it is inadequate—a lack of focus in
particular tends to disrupt my ability to truly accomplish deep things over
broad things, but it certainly made some form of a difference somewhere
(although, regrettably, not enough). Chalk it up as a win for the idea of the
hard-working Midwesterner.
8. Who
was your number one go-to person that you could always rely on?
This shifted from the beginning of the year to the end, and
honestly I can’t really recall the first half of the year very well, but probably
SK and HB at the beginning of the year, and HLK and KW by the end. I know
that’s four people, not one, but it’s the only adequate answer.
9. Which
new skills did you learn?
Technically, I learned MATLAB, multivariable calculus, and some
other various mathematical/computational concepts, but perhaps more
importantly, I learned how to write scientifically, analyze literature, stay up
late, etc. I’m sure I learned other things in my classes, but I’m not entirely
sure about what.
10. What,
or who, are you most thankful for?
I’m very thankful for all of my friends, because without it
I probably wouldn’t have made it through the year. They’ve taught me a lot from
detailed science to how to be myself, and they’ve supported me through so many
of my stupid anxieties, intense quirks, and fruitless endeavors, keeping me
optimistic and making many of my days much more fun than they otherwise would
be.
11. If
someone wrote a book about your life in 2018, what kind of genre would it be? A
comedy, love story, drama, film noir or something else?
As it was last year, a bildungsroman. A kind of depressing
one, but definitely a bildungsroman (like Catcher
in the Rye, with no clear climax or direction, mildly depressing, but
good).
12. What
was the most important lesson you learnt in 2018?
As explained better in the TEDxGeorgetown talk “Why am I so
gay?”, I learned how just being me in front of others could change them and
bring them out of their shells. I suppose the idea of a role model is not
necessarily a new one, but the idea that I
could be one and on something so abstract was certainly new to me.
13. Which
mental block(s) did you overcome?
I overcame some mental blocks about social standards, but I’m
not entirely sure that I overcame as many as I probably needed to or should have.
I’m not sure. I think I’ve gotten a lot more comfortable with making mistakes, but
looking dumb still scares me quite a bit.
14. What
5 people did you most enjoy spending time with?
Too many people in too many places and I love all of them
too much to choose, so I’m just going to take my Thanksgiving list and hope
it’s comprehensive even though it’s definitely over 5 people.
SK, HLK, KW, KL, AZ, RS, MW, AR, AP, MC, SB, HB, GH.
15. What
was your biggest break-through moment school/career-wise?
Specifically, the moment when I realized an important part
of my problem wasn’t possible to solve in polynomial time and would require a
very long amount of time to run (many hours, going on days), but I could write code that would use
one solution and apply to all other possible cases. It was one where I realized
my math competition knowledge might actually be very useful, and generally very
exciting.
More generally, I’m not as sure though. I think my AP Lit
thesis was one that actually proved to me I could write coherently about
humanities stuff, in-depth, which was personally impressive and sort of changed
my perspective on my future work, and the speed at which I wrote it was also
kind of surprising and eased my stress in that time.
16. How
did your relationship to your family evolve?
I’m not entirely sure about this. I think they definitely
worry about me more, which concerns me somewhat, but I’ve become a lot more
independent, at least, so that’s a good sign as we go further and further
towards that breakaway point.
17. What
book or movie affected your life in a profound way?
I think I’m going to say “Love, Simon” for a movie, since it
was really emotionally poignant and some form of mild personal validation of
existence and struggle, but book-wise a lot of the AP Literature readings
actually felt relatively relevant, which was interesting. The Metamorphosis, Six
Degrees of Separation, and of course, Frankenstein
were all really interesting, and I actually connected to them on some level,
however abstruse.
18. What
was your favorite compliment that you received this year?
Not a direct, verbal compliment, but some of my friends
voted for me for Rickoid of the Year without me really asking (I think), and
that meant a lot to me. It represented that I had exemplified some
characteristics about RSI kids, work-wise and socially, which is something that
I wouldn’t really dare to say about
myself.
19. What
little things did you most enjoy during your day-to-day life?
When it was available, I really enjoyed having milk tea; I enjoyed the
feeling of and look of writing and editing in notebooks and on paper, and the
catharsis that accompanied that writing (and typing!); I enjoyed the excitement
of starting new projects (even though my personal follow-through rate is
atrocious); I enjoyed belting songs from musicals and listening to podcasts and
actually getting back into “pop” music; and, perhaps more generally, I enjoyed life,
which has treated me well, even though I haven’t really felt that.
20. What
cool things did you create this year?
I created my RSI project, a thesis about poetry and
masculinity, this blog (which was technically created this year I think), a
bunch of postcards for friends, and probably a bunch of things I’m forgetting,
although maybe it’s just because none of the things I made were cool.
21. What
was your most common mental state this year (e.g. excited, curious, stressed)?
Stressed/anxious and tired. This has been true across the
board, from March with robotics and AP Lit, to working hard at RSI, to applying
to colleges this fall and winter.
22. Was
there anything you did for the very first time in your life this year?
I took 1st in a debate event (I think that’s the
first time?), took SAT subjects, met people from a wide variety of countries
(Singapore, Lebanon, Saudi, Switzerland, etc.), stayed up so late that I only
got thirty minutes of sleep one day, watched an Avengers movie, a variety of things which dropped my Rice purity
score by 5-10 points or something, and probably a ton of other things that I
haven’t listed here.
23. What
was your favorite moment spent with your friends?
On the tarp in week two of RSI during the 4th of
July, especially the moment when the Boston Pops was playing “Mambo!” from West
Side Story Symphonic Dances, which we had played just last year for All-State
Orchestra. At home, going out at 4AM to see a satellite, not seeing it, but going to get breakfast together nonetheless.
24. What
major goal did you lay the foundations for?
I think I laid the foundations not for acceptance at
college, but rather for success at college, developing a little bit of work ethic,
learning things that will help me through my first few semesters of college,
understanding some dynamics in research groups (and falling in love with
research!) which might be useful as I do step into that next great adventure.
25. Which
worries turned out to be completely unnecessary?
I think my worries about being completely outclassed or not
fitting in at RSI were relatively unnecessary (did I have those worries? I feel
like I did. I can’t really find them on the blog though.), because although I
was certainly nowhere near the smartest person there, I felt like I was a
functional and contributing member of the society there.
26. What
experience would you love to do all over again?
I sound like a broken record! RSI is, of course, the answer
to this question. However, since that won’t happen, I’m actually looking
forwards to going to National Science Bowl again this year, given, of course,
that we make it.
27. What
was the best gift you received?
I received a variety of pens throughout this year, which
have been really nice and carried me through the year without deigning to use
pencils. I feel there are other more significant things I should be writing
about here, but honestly I’m not entirely sure about what. (I’m forgetful—sad.)
I also did get a nice card from a friend from RSI which was very uplifting.
28. How
did your overall outlook on life evolve?
I think my overall outlook on my own life improved, while my outlook on the future of humanity grew
slightly bleaker, which is actually a little bit of a role reversal from last
year. For once, I’m actually kind of excited to see where the next year goes,
and not just continually tepid. Is hope becoming too strong? Am I too
optimistic? We’ll find out, I guess.
29. What
was the biggest problem you solved?
Given that we have a constant-speed vehicle traveling in the
ocean from point A to point B which only has a certain amount of energy, and
that vehicle is affected by ocean currents and taking in energy from various
locations in the environment (e.g. via solar panels), what is the fastest way
for it to get from point A to point B? (That’s my RSI project!)
30. What
was the funniest moment of your year, one that still makes it hard not to burst
out laughing when you think about it?
Either, the moment where I discovered “The Most Unwanted
Song”, or the one point before RSI where we were messing around in the
groupchat.
31. What
purchase turned out to be the best decision ever?
I’m not entirely sure what I actually bought this year—maybe
the postcards, some of which I’m pretty sure are still yet to arrive (or
perhaps never will), but I did buy a nice notebook at RSI with extra TechCash
which I’ve used for quite a large variety of things since. (oh! Also, the 99
cent Spotify Premium subscription which got me through RSI! That was really
useful.)
32. What
one thing would you do differently and why?
I would have spent more time with my counselor group and not
closed myself off (and hopefully have prevented the incident) during RSI (although I certainly wasn’t thaaat closed off anyways and it was
amazing in any case).
33. What
do you deserve a pat on the back for?
I suppose that nothing that I did personally exceeded expectations. I don’t mean to say that I
expected to get into RSI—I most certainly didn’t—but there’s something about
that fact that doesn’t feel like I was responsible for it. Perhaps that’s just
impostor syndrome speaking still.
I guess that one thing I am proud of is writing this blog
daily since I got back from RSI. Personally, I think that’s kind of impressive,
although we’ll see how long it’ll last into the new year.
34. What
activities made you lose track of time?
Singing and playing music; working on projects, papers and
presentations; going on long walks at night, all in the company of friends.
There were also moments where I was so focused on things that time flew past,
but generally in those cases there were a gnawing sadness in my soul as I tried
to make my way through things.
35. What
did you think about more than anything else?
Identity and self—who I am, what that means, and where I’m
going with it.
36. What
topics did you most enjoy learning about?
I enjoyed learning about molecular/cell biology, both from
one of my friends at RSI and during AP Bio so far this year, and I’ve also
enjoyed learning a little bit about math from my math friends as well. Beyond
that, however, I’ve enjoyed learning about what other people from across the
country are interested in, care about, and struggle with, and about who I am,
and what my future might hold.
37. What
new habits did you cultivate?
I extended my habit of blogging everyday, and perhaps
strengthened it. I developed an unfortunate habit of ruining my sleep schedule
(and taking naps), especially to facilitate the habit of talking to my friends from
across the country regularly. I’m not quite sure what else, but I’m sure there
are plenty that I just don’t notice.
38. What
advice would you give your early-2018 self if you could?
Be more confident in yourself (but keep working hard), stop
worrying, and you’ll probably be fine. You can get through this! (Also, avoid
the incident if possible, thanks.)
39. Did
any parts of yourself or your life do a complete 180 this year?
Honestly, I feel like I’ve stayed fairly consistent this year.
I did a little bit of a 180 on the first Thursday/Friday of RSI, because I was
a little less chill and open before the first sing-along with the counselors
and a bunch of the other students, where basically I began feeling at home at
RSI and becoming the unconstrained me I was at the end of it. I feel like I’ve
done a little bit of a 180 (165?) back to how I was before that now that I’m
actually home again, but it’ll be better, eventually.
40. What
or who had the biggest positive impact on your life this year?
Once more, altogether now…RSI! *cue “For Good” from Wicked here.* I’m not going to put more
things here, because it’ll just sound like a college essay (especially a lot of
mine), and I’ve written enough of those recently.
YOUR 2019
1. What
do you want the overarching theme for your 2019 to be?
I want 2019 to be a year of creativity and order. It should
be creative in the sense that I have in my second semester a rare chance to
just explore opportunities and develop skills I haven’t been focused on, and
maybe to carry some of those artistic endeavors into college as well. Order is
necessary, however, in order to make the jump to college successful—getting
those organizational systems ready when I still have time is probably a good
idea, and then applying them to college might work. (Of course, it will
probably still just all fall apart.)
2. What
do you want to see, discover, explore?
I want to see my friends from around the world in person,
discover the difficulties and joys of college (and hopefully urban) life, and further
explore the extent of my unconstrained self.
3. Who
do you want to spend more time with in 2019?
I’d like to spend more time with my friends in Rapid with my
last few months of high school, and then much more time with my friends from
RSI, because although those six weeks felt a lot longer than they actually
were, they’re still not enough (“Are said too much\They're not enough”).
4. What
skills do you want to learn, improve or master?
I’d like to revisit my ability to play the piano and sing
well, if possible, and I’d also like to improve my ability to write. I think the
time management and whatnot might follow naturally, but if not, practice makes
perfect.
5. Which
personal quality do you want to develop or strengthen?
I want to strengthen my ability to focus and let go of the
world around me, because I am still distracted too easily while I work by my phone
and by the other tabs on my computer, making it harder for me to accomplish
meaningful work quickly.
6. What
do you want your everyday life to be like?
I want to be busy, engaged in various projects and whatnot.
I wrote an example of what I want to do in a Stanford essay (“I wrote some
notes at the beginning of a song someone will sing for me”) (that’s not a quote
from the essay, it’s from Hamilton,
but I felt like it was relevant), but that’s not being put here, unfortunately.
7. Which
habits do you want to change, cultivate or get rid of?
I’m not sure. I want to maintain and possible even
strengthen my writing habit, but also I think my general habits are becoming
more and more sustainable. I’d like to rid myself of my habit of being
overconfident and expecting things, but that’s difficult to be actionable. Probably
also improving a habit of organization and
cleanliness would be useful.
8. What
do you want to achieve school-wise?
I want to finish senior year strong, and hopefully
seamlessly transition to college. That doesn’t mean it won’t be difficult, but
I should be able to handle it.
9. How
do you want to remember the year 2019 when you look back on it 10/20/50 years
from now?
I want to remember 2019 as primarily my freshman year of
college, rather than as my last year of high school (prospective instead of
retrospective). I want to remember it as one of great growth, with significant
change between start and end. If RSI can have such a big impact on me in just
six weeks, what about three months? More?
10. What
is your number one goal for 2019?
I want to try new things, and to revisit old things I haven’t
touched in a while. Out of my shell and into the world, and hopefully I won’t
trip too many times on the way.
Lookback on 2018 Goals
Initial Goals:
1. Hold
myself accountable in every sense - reduce blame-shifting and excuses.
This goal was always vague and generally unactionable, but I
felt like my general sense of self-responsibility took up the task of
accomplishing and keeping track of a vast variety of tasks without too much of
a problem. There has been some senioritis setting in recently, however, and
hopefully I’ll be able to compensate for that into the new year.
2. Get
into RSI or TASP or SPARC or some other camp.
I got into RSI! Wow.
3. Score
high on my AP exams and SAT subjects.
Yep, no problems there.
4. Piece
together our policy debate team so that we can actually have one.
Whether out of laziness or sheer exhaustion of motivation
this did not occur strongly, although I do have a policy debate partner for
this year. I’m also supposed to be writing a case during this break so…oops?
5. Get
better at programming, sustain skill in math
This was vaguely accomplished. Honestly, I think what
happened might have been the inverse—I did get better at applying actual
programming and writing code, but I did not learn much about improving my
algorithmic thinking; on the other hand, I learned a lot more math and had to
work those mental pathways a lot more intently to accomplish things, even though
those things weren’t perhaps explicitly the competition math I was thinking of
when I wrote this goal. Also, I did make the AIME again, so there’s something
to be said about that.
6. Make
NSB, again.
Check!
7. Manage
time more effectively, reduce non-essential screen time
I’m going to call this a mixed success, since I feel like
managed my time in a reasonable manner when it got down to the wire, but my
non-essential screen time also didn’t decrease in the way I really needed it
to. Perhaps more importantly, however, I think I need to find a way to manage
my energy better, rather than my
time.
8. Be
less awkward
I think I’ve shed a lot of my awkwardness in the past year or
so, and gained at least a minor bit of self-confidence, especially around close
friends, so that’s probably a step in the right direction. Quantifiability is
lacking in this goal, however.
9. Be
less closeted
This was honestly, on reflection, kind of a great success.
Reading last year’s document, I didn’t expect to be out to my parents this
year, but now this and everything else and wow. The turnaround time was quick,
and although I’d still like to be slightly more outrageously bi, significant progress
has been made.
10. This
is really out there, but…date someone?
*in the voice of Carla from In The Heights* haha, no.
Additional Goals:
1. Write
more and publish more writing, but not at the expense of quality over quantity.
I mean, I think that kind of happened. Recent blogs are
longer, and I suppose that the publishing part is mooted by the fact that my
college essays are now kind of sub-judice, in a sense.
2. Get
healthier - exercise!
Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
3. Make
All-State.
Done.
4. Get
3 acceptances, 2 deferrals, on my early action applications.
If I get Georgia Tech, I’ll hit this nail on the head. If
not, then I guess I undershot.
5. Finish
essays far before the deadline so they can be edited.
This was vaguely successful, although certainly I think
there was a lot less editing then there could have been.
6. Don't
just slack off second semester. (Learn things or something.)
Expanding/moving this to 2019…
7. Keep
in touch with RSI folk.
Done, almost to an extent that is unhealthy for my sleep schedule.
The mutual bonding over the grueling process of college applications was powerful.
8. Have
fun......?
Fun is relative. I think there was certainly some had
though.
2019 Goals
1. Write
everyday—this blog, the novella, and a prompt-based challenge I’m doing with a
friend available here: https://thinkwritten.com/365-creative-writing-prompts/
2. Learn
to play the Fantasie Impromptu, finish out your senior year of Orchestra strong
(and think about what you want to do with it next), and figure out how to sing
harmony parts again.
3. Get
accepted at Georgia Tech, and then get at least two acceptances out of Harvard,
Stanford, Columbia, Yale, MIT, and UChicago. (Although, to be fair, I won’t
really be able to do much about this during
2019.) Don’t get whatever offers you do
have rescinded.
4. Establish
organizational structures that will make getting things done a near certainty,
and have some sort of concept as to how productive you are during a day. (In
doing this, however, also make sure you’re not over-extending yourself or
burning your motivation out too much.)
5. Attempt
to create some semblance of a sustainable policy debate team in the last half
of your last season in the hopes that policy will at least somewhat continue in
the oncoming few years.
6. Make
National Science Bowl for the last time!
7. Turn
over a new leaf at the start of college, without being shy or overly hesitant about
my identity—make friends, try new things, and learn!
8. Read
at least 10 books outside of school this year.
9. Take
some edX courses this year.
10. Exercise…?
11. Have
fun!
Some School Stuff
School is going well—I’m
still sitting on a 4.0 unweighted GPA, so that’s what’ll matter as time goes
on. Spanish 4 and AP Bio are my most difficult classes so far, which is
relatively exciting, because I’m learning about things that are interesting and
generally outside of my comfort zone, although my grades are almost uncomfortably
low in those classes. Orchestra is mildly challenging leadership-wise, but everything
else is relatively excellent. I’m hoping I don’t hit the same March crunch I
hit last school year, where AP Lit homework piled up and could not be caught up
on. It’s also weird to not have any concept of what I’ll be really doing next
year, because it’s unclear where I’ll be going, but I suppose that’s the
excitement of it all.
Best musicals I listened to this year
·
Rent
·
Next to Normal
·
Wicked
·
Spring Awakening
·
Thoroughly Modern Millie
·
Legally Blonde
·
Mean Girls
Best podcasts I listened to this year
·
Reconcilable Differences
·
Accidental Tech Podcast
·
Hello Internet
·
Do By Friday
·
The Adventure Zone
·
My Brother My Brother and Me
·
Bonanza!
·
Analog(ue)
·
Dear Hank and John
·
The Bugle
·
Bionic
·
Nature Podcast
·
The McElroy Brothers Will Be in Trolls 2
·
(The Indicator From) Planet Money
·
Anthropocene Reviewed
·
Ungeniused
·
Chemistry in our Element
Top 5 Things I Did This Year
1. Research
Science Institute
2. Trip
to California
3. Trip
to Chicago
4. National
Science Bowl (especially the Udvar-Hazy Center)
5. Robotics trip to Denver.
3 Possibly Most Annoying Things
1. Stress
due to mismanagement of time and energy, and general overworking when really
there shouldn’t have been any.
2. The
deferral from (and the food at) MIT.
3. My
strange social anxieties about asking people for things.
Blog Statistics
At the risk of extending this already long document, we’re
going to add a section! At 5:34PM on January 1st, 2019, this blog
contained 135457 words, 293 posts, and had 10614 pageviews and very approximately
82 hours of read time. I’d go more into detail, but I’m pretty sure I could guess
many of these data points with striking granularity, so we’ll pass on that.
Places: 12 States + DC
1. SD—I
live here.
2. MN—On
the way to Chicago, but also for History Bowl.
3. WI—On
the way to Chicago.
4. IL—Chicago!
(Also, on the way home from Boston.)
5. WY—Mostly
as a method of transport to and from Colorado.
6. CO—On
the way to DC and CA, but also for various other family trips.
7. VA—Dulles
Int’l Airport for NSB.
8. MD—NSB!
9. ND—Fargo.
10. CA—Santa
Barbara and LA.
11. NJ—On
the way to Boston.
12. MA—Boston/Cambridge
for RSI!
13. And
DC! (NSB!)
I enjoy reading your blog! I find your posts to be very reflective and thorough.
ReplyDelete