247A — Oh, the weather outside is frightful...

Today was a pretty good day, despite me not doing quite as much as I probably should have. This is acceptable because tomorrow is snow day part two! The best part of this is that, as a senior, I won't have to make any of these days up, so everything is just fine and dandy. The worst part of this is that we might not be able to do the show tomorrow, which will be a bummer for sure. Another plus to this whole snow situation is relatively counter-intuitive—because of the snow, flights out of Rapid have been canceled, meaning missing CPW to play in the pit was the right decision. Now, at the very least, I will probably be able to play for at least one show, which I will be happy enough about.

I woke up today at 5 AM and realized that they must have had to make a decision by that time. A little panicked that I had not heard a phone call (although I could've slept through it), I began scrambling for the district Facebook when a) our pit director texted us to tell us there was no school today and b) the phone rang. Satisfied, I canceled both my morning alarms and went back to bed.

I didn't actually end up getting up until maybe 9 or 10 this morning, which was nice. I also did very little work throughout the day, mostly monitoring weather progress, making very minimal progress on AP Psych homework every once in a while (although I am now almost caught up), reading some blogs here and there, watching YouTube videos and listening to podcasts, etc. The tension rose slowly over time as it seemed less and less likely the school district was going to call a snow day as it started getting a little later in the day. After dinner, the local university announced a late start. This was a good sign initially, and then about thirty minutes later (or something like that) we got another text from the pit director that school was closed. For good measure, the university later emailed to inform us that they would also be closed, under governor's orders. I guess the whole family is staying home again now...

I had a variety of scattered discussion topics for today, but most of them have escaped my mind, so I am left with the following one. I recently got a letter from my Columbia admissions officer, with a hand-written note about the application. This is not unusual: Caltech's described a "passion for STEM" and "the various lenses through which you view the world," which was something I wrote about as my contribution to the Caltech community. Yale's emphasized "taking full advantage of everything Yale has to offer," something I've described in the lack of opportunity available in Rapid, and "unexpected causes (?) and late night talks with roommates," which was a little more Yale-focused but interesting enough.

The Columbia one interested me the most, however, because it positioned me as "an extraordinarily talented leader," which, out of all the positive characterizations one might be able to derive from an application, seems to be the one that troubles me the most. I didn't write about leadership at all in the essays or supplements, and although I certainly filled my assigned roles out on the Common App, it still seems to me that this is not one of my defining characteristics. I lead by doing, not by any particular strong sense of leadership itself. Upon reflection, this bothers me less now than it did initially, but this question of leadership is one which I have recently struggled with, following the NSB vs. worlds struggle. One of my NSB friends told me that "you haven't done anything for the team except play really well," and I'm not convinced he's entirely wrong (excluding the tryouts system that I wrote this year, which is relatively minor). Leadership is not my intent, it is more a responsibility—I would much rather intrude myself into diligent work than attempt to coordinate people in a coherent manner. And yet, here I am, being told I am "an extraordinarily talented leader." What gives? Did I accidentally lie on my application? This is unclear.

This level of concern of overzealous self-representation was amplified by the following statement: "You've turned Rapid upside-down and I can't wait for you to do the same here." Press (X) to doubt, partially because I'm most likely not going to Columbia, but also because this statement seems so blatantly false to me. Where did this come from? I certainly hope I was not arrogant enough to make statements that would lead to this conclusion. I am genuinely confused and mildly concerned by this—am I being overestimated, and thus taking up another, more deserving person's spots? What spawned this statement, and is it a gross mischaracterization that will get me rescinded from schools? Hm...

Tomorrow's schedule will be interesting and determined solely by whether or not I will be allowed to drive later in the day and what the musical plans on doing. We'll see how it goes.