actions, not words.

Today was a day full of feelings. Whether they were good or bad is an interesting question—there was news in both directions, but they were all of great magnitude, and on the whole it washed out into this general sense of confusion and exhaustion which has now diffused throughout my being. I'm not sure how exactly I feel about it on the whole, but here we are. This morning was generally okay. I was not initially very willing to get up, since the exhaustion that had been building throughout the week was pretty strong at that point already. Eventually, I got out of bed, got ready, had breakfast, and headed out (quickly) to my first class of the day, which happened to be a chemistry exam. On the whole, the exam went mostly okay, but I found myself pushing closer to the time limit, with a full page and a half left to do with 10 minutes left. I got it done though, and we'll see if the grades come out at any point during this weekend. Hopefully they do—after all, the class is relat...

There is a lot of good writing out there, but it is hard to find time to commit to reading to it. (Remember when I planned on finishing a whole set of books at the end of the summer? Since then, I have finished basically zero non-required readings.) There is even less time to sit down and write and reflect on it. In general, I read what is assigned to me, a constant flood of emails from random MIT mailing lists, occasionally Twitter, two AoPS blogs (both of which post inconsistently), and the Guardian's live coverage of British politics. Today (in whatever skewed definition of today  I maintain), however, I got access to another blog and, in combination with the generally contemplative mood a cloudy day sets me in, it took my breath away and sucked my mind into its discussion as I walked alone in the dark across Killian Court and down Dorm Row after my evening class. There is so much content here that I yearn to intake, but unlike my writing, which is methodical and constant and ...

By the time I go to sleep, today will have been a good day.  At the very least, I hope it will have been. Right now, I’m writing this on the top step underneath the columns of Building 10 and the Great Dome, staring out onto the Boston city skyline as the sun prepares to set. It is 6:45 PM, and my next class isn’t until 7:30, in a classroom not too far from here. This is the first time I have taken a purposeful, meaningful break from people in a while, and I suppose that is probably a good thing. This decision, is of course, not without inspiration. I read this post by one of the newest MIT Admissions bloggers and my acquaintance through a variety of math people , CJ, and I am reminded yet again that I am no longer the best (or perhaps even in the top 10%) at anything anymore here. When blogging decisions came out as they did however long ago, I felt sad. What I had perhaps forgotten is my place—at one of the most prestigious universities in the world, people’s abilities are not...