584A — Just tell me if you changed your mind...
"The struggle is real," Pei-Ken Hung, Real Analysis Instructor.
Today was a mediocre day. I really don't want to write too much about it, but I'm inevitably going to do so. It's unfortunate that I do feel my writing facilities slipping away as I get more and more tired, especially since I'm still only functioning on 3.5 hours of sleep, but what must be said must be said.
I got up this morning and headed to Real Analysis lecture with very little sleep. The whole endeavor was somewhat rough; I overslept the alarm, dashed to class with a friend, sat through the first 30 minutes of the lecture until sharp abdominal pain forced me to leave briefly before returning for the rest of the class. Our focus was on functions and the Intermediate Value/Extreme Value Theorems, and the class was markedly more empty than usual. I struggled to focus, sleep barely leaving me. The fire alarm went off at the end, marking a fitting end to our last in-person lecture.
Spanish class was markedly less focused, and, combined with some technical issues I had in getting my software setup in the last half of the class where we drilled for online classes and a lack of people present made the whole endeavor a pretty big struggle. We made it through it though, and afterwards I went to lunch at Sebastian's with a friend to catch up one last time before the end. We walked back towards campus slowly, talking about random concepts before we parted ways.
Physics recitation was the point where I began falling asleep again, which was unfortunate. We made it through slowly, especially since the concepts seemed a little more abstruse than usual, for whatever reason. I turned in my power board for Interconnected Embedded Systems, which I had just gotten but a week ago, and then walked back to Next House, stopping by MacGregor to catch one last conversation with a different friend.
At Next, yet another different friend came over to spend some time, and afterwards I sort of just laid in bed, heart filled with an overabundance of emotion, a good proportion of them not 'negative' or 'bad' in the sense that one feels 'bad', but rather a sort of emotional rending or an interior pain. I put on some angsty music and belted it at the top of my lungs, trying anything that would work for the basic amount of catharsis that might make one feel better. It did not come.
I headed back up Dorm Row to McCormick at some point for dinner with Quiz Bowl friends, which, at the time did not seem like the last, but may be now, for reasons I'll talk about later. A full stirfry line and stirfry consumption later, we headed out. I accompanied a friend on their journey back to their room at East Campus, and then we returned to the Quiz Bowl practice room, where I dropped my stuff off and headed out to Concert Choir in Kresge Auditiorium.
In Kresge, Concert Choir slowly mourned its last day as well, and we performed the piece we had been working on with the Symphony Orchestra for an audience of a few people with cameras, our pianist, our director, a audio technician, and a ton of microphones. Setup and recording done and goodbyes said to all of the friends I wouldn't be seeing again, at least for a while, I headed back to Quiz Bowl, where we played some auditory clue packets on patriotic music (which I tied for third in, somehow, despite missing half the packet, after getting Ireland on a buzzer race for the word 'Galway' and Wales on a complete guess), and some auditory clue packets on fine arts music (which I did less well in and missed a bunch of dumb questions in, including the Mendelssohn Octet, the bane of my high school freshman year). Thus, the last Quiz Bowl practice of the year ended.
I headed up campus a little bit to the Dollar Bill Lounge after this, to finish up the problem set I'd been working on all week. After turning it in, I headed slowly back towards McCormick, where we were hosting one last small Asymptones event, when rumors started that the emergency moveout date was moving up to Sunday. I did my best to dismiss these as rumors, and we did our senior sendoff for the one senior in Asymptones this year by sightsinging his solo, which was a nice gesture, although scarcely enough for everything he'd done for us. By the time we had finished, however, the news was realized—we'd be moving out by Sunday, and classes tomorrow were canceled. Fortunately, this news was delivered efficiently, unlike in the past, but still. Another change. Another shock.
I headed up to Maseeh to meet a friend, who came down to Next. I called my parents upon arriving home, and talked to them for a pretty long while during the process of continuing to pack, which I did on and off until around 1:30 AM, when Next House 4W decided to get one last wing photo. I played a little bit of Mario Kart after this, and talked to my friends as I gradually realized that I would end up being one of the last ones out. Mildly disheartened, but not completely saddened, I returned to packing a little, until I finally couldn't stand it and just texted people.
One decision I did end up making was to watch Bao again, a film that has made me cry every time I have watched it. This was probably the thing that got me closest to any form of emotional resolution. I cried, and then headed up to main lounge to say goodbye to a few more people. *sigh.* It's almost done.
I think the thing that I will miss the most about MIT is its vibrancy. The whole of campus came together over dorm-spam to stage a protest about students who were unreasonably denied exceptions to the move-out rule even when everyone was collectively stressed. I passed multiple groups which had just gathered and began singing in the hallway. So much of it was a testament to the community and the diversity of it all. Even in times like this, people have the energy to come together and shine bright, to try and drive change, to do things together in a way no one else would. I'll miss it. I certainly will.
Tomorrow, another day. I'm just trying to make it Saturday with everything packed, and Sunday with everything going well. Hopefully, nothing else will change. A week ago, we'd just canceled events with over 150 people. Now, we've canceled everything, including Friday. The derivative has had high magnitude so far; let's just hope it doesn't get too much worse.
Today was a mediocre day. I really don't want to write too much about it, but I'm inevitably going to do so. It's unfortunate that I do feel my writing facilities slipping away as I get more and more tired, especially since I'm still only functioning on 3.5 hours of sleep, but what must be said must be said.
I got up this morning and headed to Real Analysis lecture with very little sleep. The whole endeavor was somewhat rough; I overslept the alarm, dashed to class with a friend, sat through the first 30 minutes of the lecture until sharp abdominal pain forced me to leave briefly before returning for the rest of the class. Our focus was on functions and the Intermediate Value/Extreme Value Theorems, and the class was markedly more empty than usual. I struggled to focus, sleep barely leaving me. The fire alarm went off at the end, marking a fitting end to our last in-person lecture.
Spanish class was markedly less focused, and, combined with some technical issues I had in getting my software setup in the last half of the class where we drilled for online classes and a lack of people present made the whole endeavor a pretty big struggle. We made it through it though, and afterwards I went to lunch at Sebastian's with a friend to catch up one last time before the end. We walked back towards campus slowly, talking about random concepts before we parted ways.
Physics recitation was the point where I began falling asleep again, which was unfortunate. We made it through slowly, especially since the concepts seemed a little more abstruse than usual, for whatever reason. I turned in my power board for Interconnected Embedded Systems, which I had just gotten but a week ago, and then walked back to Next House, stopping by MacGregor to catch one last conversation with a different friend.
At Next, yet another different friend came over to spend some time, and afterwards I sort of just laid in bed, heart filled with an overabundance of emotion, a good proportion of them not 'negative' or 'bad' in the sense that one feels 'bad', but rather a sort of emotional rending or an interior pain. I put on some angsty music and belted it at the top of my lungs, trying anything that would work for the basic amount of catharsis that might make one feel better. It did not come.
I headed back up Dorm Row to McCormick at some point for dinner with Quiz Bowl friends, which, at the time did not seem like the last, but may be now, for reasons I'll talk about later. A full stirfry line and stirfry consumption later, we headed out. I accompanied a friend on their journey back to their room at East Campus, and then we returned to the Quiz Bowl practice room, where I dropped my stuff off and headed out to Concert Choir in Kresge Auditiorium.
In Kresge, Concert Choir slowly mourned its last day as well, and we performed the piece we had been working on with the Symphony Orchestra for an audience of a few people with cameras, our pianist, our director, a audio technician, and a ton of microphones. Setup and recording done and goodbyes said to all of the friends I wouldn't be seeing again, at least for a while, I headed back to Quiz Bowl, where we played some auditory clue packets on patriotic music (which I tied for third in, somehow, despite missing half the packet, after getting Ireland on a buzzer race for the word 'Galway' and Wales on a complete guess), and some auditory clue packets on fine arts music (which I did less well in and missed a bunch of dumb questions in, including the Mendelssohn Octet, the bane of my high school freshman year). Thus, the last Quiz Bowl practice of the year ended.
I headed up campus a little bit to the Dollar Bill Lounge after this, to finish up the problem set I'd been working on all week. After turning it in, I headed slowly back towards McCormick, where we were hosting one last small Asymptones event, when rumors started that the emergency moveout date was moving up to Sunday. I did my best to dismiss these as rumors, and we did our senior sendoff for the one senior in Asymptones this year by sightsinging his solo, which was a nice gesture, although scarcely enough for everything he'd done for us. By the time we had finished, however, the news was realized—we'd be moving out by Sunday, and classes tomorrow were canceled. Fortunately, this news was delivered efficiently, unlike in the past, but still. Another change. Another shock.
I headed up to Maseeh to meet a friend, who came down to Next. I called my parents upon arriving home, and talked to them for a pretty long while during the process of continuing to pack, which I did on and off until around 1:30 AM, when Next House 4W decided to get one last wing photo. I played a little bit of Mario Kart after this, and talked to my friends as I gradually realized that I would end up being one of the last ones out. Mildly disheartened, but not completely saddened, I returned to packing a little, until I finally couldn't stand it and just texted people.
One decision I did end up making was to watch Bao again, a film that has made me cry every time I have watched it. This was probably the thing that got me closest to any form of emotional resolution. I cried, and then headed up to main lounge to say goodbye to a few more people. *sigh.* It's almost done.
I think the thing that I will miss the most about MIT is its vibrancy. The whole of campus came together over dorm-spam to stage a protest about students who were unreasonably denied exceptions to the move-out rule even when everyone was collectively stressed. I passed multiple groups which had just gathered and began singing in the hallway. So much of it was a testament to the community and the diversity of it all. Even in times like this, people have the energy to come together and shine bright, to try and drive change, to do things together in a way no one else would. I'll miss it. I certainly will.
Tomorrow, another day. I'm just trying to make it Saturday with everything packed, and Sunday with everything going well. Hopefully, nothing else will change. A week ago, we'd just canceled events with over 150 people. Now, we've canceled everything, including Friday. The derivative has had high magnitude so far; let's just hope it doesn't get too much worse.
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