623A — You're all cleaned up...
Today was a pretty okay day. I am not satisfied with the extent to which I am caught up, but I see no choice but to sleep now in preparation for an actual school day tomorrow. So I will write, I suppose, as a way of trying to prepare myself for a full night's sleep tonight.
In the past—i.e. in high school—I used to write about the "post-debate blues." These were the feelings that followed the hectic tournaments that characterized my every weekend; after round after round of speaking and walking around high schools and a long bus ride, I would sit down on Sunday, tired out of my mind, all the adrenaline crashed out of my system, a laundry list of homework in front of me, and I would just be sad and lack all motivation to do anything. I would miss the tournament; miss my friends, miss my escape, but the overall pervasive feeling of sadness seemed to emanate from somewhere else deep inside me, a source which I never really succeeded in pinning down.
This is the first time in a long while where I can say I'm feeling that same feeling again. After a weekend of doing absolutely no homework, I sat down today and was faced with a barrage of uncompleted tasks which begged me for attention, each of which just as important as the next. I have never been good at prioritizing—there's a reason my to-do list used to contain an extremely complex formula to assign an importance score to each task—but today seemed particularly bad. Honestly, to fully recover, I would probably need another full day of this, but that doesn't exist and so I will just have to live with being behind for this week, and trying my best to catch back up.
Some of these feelings were exacerbated by some pretty notable factors. For example, my exhaustion led to me not being able to rouse myself out of bed until somewhere around late 10 AM/early 11 AM. Throughout the day, I still found myself continuously broken out of my focus state, a feeling that I've been having starting from the middle of last week, despite the previous few weeks not at all having felt that feeling. I'm hoping I can jump back onto the old pace, but I think I'll still have to stumble a couple times before I recover. Is it bad that I'm already looking forwards to the weekend?
I eased my way into homework by starting my day with a movie for Spanish, which was Chico Y Rita. This was an exceptional film, although I ended up having to watch with subtitles due to a continued inability to parse the softer/omitted sounds. (It was good enough that I may re-watch it without, however, at some point.) I watched the film, eating lunch at some point in the middle, and then did some other assorted Spanish homework at a creepingly slow pace. At some point, tired of that, I began working on the Interconnected Embedded Systems (6.08) final project I had yet to do any work on, finished my progress for that, and then returned to essentially doing nothing for some time.
It turned out today, however, that despite classes being canceled, our Concert Choir professor had still ended up scheduling a discussion about auditions, which was nice, although poorly-attended. This took up some time, and afterwards I spent some time working 8.03x work, which I guess I'm still doing before jumping on a brief call for Think mentorship. This was cut short by dinner, after which I struggled through some small things like more Spanish homework/6.08 stuff/starting the real analysis pset I have to turn in in three days but no real hardcore work was done. I need to get my life together.
Tomorrow, an early morning, and hopefully being more caught up and preparing for a physics exam. I also need to write some thoughts about CPW. Maybe I will wait until the month ends. We'll see, I guess.
In the past—i.e. in high school—I used to write about the "post-debate blues." These were the feelings that followed the hectic tournaments that characterized my every weekend; after round after round of speaking and walking around high schools and a long bus ride, I would sit down on Sunday, tired out of my mind, all the adrenaline crashed out of my system, a laundry list of homework in front of me, and I would just be sad and lack all motivation to do anything. I would miss the tournament; miss my friends, miss my escape, but the overall pervasive feeling of sadness seemed to emanate from somewhere else deep inside me, a source which I never really succeeded in pinning down.
This is the first time in a long while where I can say I'm feeling that same feeling again. After a weekend of doing absolutely no homework, I sat down today and was faced with a barrage of uncompleted tasks which begged me for attention, each of which just as important as the next. I have never been good at prioritizing—there's a reason my to-do list used to contain an extremely complex formula to assign an importance score to each task—but today seemed particularly bad. Honestly, to fully recover, I would probably need another full day of this, but that doesn't exist and so I will just have to live with being behind for this week, and trying my best to catch back up.
Some of these feelings were exacerbated by some pretty notable factors. For example, my exhaustion led to me not being able to rouse myself out of bed until somewhere around late 10 AM/early 11 AM. Throughout the day, I still found myself continuously broken out of my focus state, a feeling that I've been having starting from the middle of last week, despite the previous few weeks not at all having felt that feeling. I'm hoping I can jump back onto the old pace, but I think I'll still have to stumble a couple times before I recover. Is it bad that I'm already looking forwards to the weekend?
I eased my way into homework by starting my day with a movie for Spanish, which was Chico Y Rita. This was an exceptional film, although I ended up having to watch with subtitles due to a continued inability to parse the softer/omitted sounds. (It was good enough that I may re-watch it without, however, at some point.) I watched the film, eating lunch at some point in the middle, and then did some other assorted Spanish homework at a creepingly slow pace. At some point, tired of that, I began working on the Interconnected Embedded Systems (6.08) final project I had yet to do any work on, finished my progress for that, and then returned to essentially doing nothing for some time.
It turned out today, however, that despite classes being canceled, our Concert Choir professor had still ended up scheduling a discussion about auditions, which was nice, although poorly-attended. This took up some time, and afterwards I spent some time working 8.03x work, which I guess I'm still doing before jumping on a brief call for Think mentorship. This was cut short by dinner, after which I struggled through some small things like more Spanish homework/6.08 stuff/starting the real analysis pset I have to turn in in three days but no real hardcore work was done. I need to get my life together.
Tomorrow, an early morning, and hopefully being more caught up and preparing for a physics exam. I also need to write some thoughts about CPW. Maybe I will wait until the month ends. We'll see, I guess.
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